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Poetry by Taken-love17

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Submitted on
July 31, 2010
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My love, your promises
Were only flowers.
I waited for you,
For such a long time,
All I had to cling to
Were my flowers
And pretend that they were still alive.

I waited for you,
After you left me,
For such a long time,
You never came back for me.

Your promises
Were nothing but flowers.
They were all I had to cling to
While I waited for you.
I clung to every dead, pretty promise,
Every dry, wilted flower,
And I wept, and I prayed for them to be alive.

They were all I had to cling to
While I waited for you,
But I waited for such a long time.
You never came back for me.

You left me
Frozen
broken
alone
You're promises were nothing but flowers, my love...
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:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Writer
Heart-wrenching and powerful emotionally... :wow:
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You are spoiling me today! So many wonderful comments. :heart: Thank you so so much. :tighthug:
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2011  Professional Writer
:iconawwplz:
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:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Gah! The last stanza rocked. You always come up with great endings!
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Aw :hug: Thank you so much!
Reply
:icondominamoon:
DominaMoon Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2011   General Artist
This works really well, the concept is really fantastic :)
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. :hug:
Reply
:icondominamoon:
DominaMoon Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2011   General Artist
my pleasure
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:iconohmyninja:
ohmyninja Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010
i like this. the flower metaphor is interesting. it works nicely.
great job!
:]
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:)

Thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconohmyninja:
ohmyninja Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010
you're welcome :D
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:iconceasarman:
Ceasarman Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thats a Talking Heads song title :) Epic song. Listen to it ;p

Very nice poem too :)
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Really?!
Damn it!
No no no. I worked so hard.
Reply
:iconceasarman:
Ceasarman Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
nono just the title thats the same don't worry :)

And different subject within the words :)
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, thank god.
I was getting upset and then I was too afraid to go and find the song and the lyrics...

I can deal with having it be the same title.

What a relief!

Oh, and I think I freaked out before I said thank you before. That was really rude. I'm sorry!
Reply
:iconceasarman:
Ceasarman Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
xD Don't worry, I'd be beside myself too if the same turned out of any of my stuff :)
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for understanding. That is I think a fear all writers have, that he or she, will be approached by someone who will say that their work is either similar or pretty much plagiarism.
I guess mine has been heightened ever since I saw Secret Window, but one of Teachers in 4th grade spent weeks on plagiarism. She wanted us to know that it was nothing to be taken lightly, and for those reasons I had myself I mini panic attack, but that's not your fault, I don't want you think I'm trying to make you feel bad, I'm just explaining the little freak out.
I really did appreciate that you liked my poem, and once again I'm sorry!
Reply
:iconceasarman:
Ceasarman Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Whenever I'm writing stuff I think .. this sounds like or this has the same sequence as.. then if a line sounds similar I almost write the next line in a song. Annoying really.
How do you write poetry? I'd just like to know because every time I just go from start to finish without much editing or hard thinking. They normally come so quickly that editing or changing doesn't seem quite right..

Lol, don't be so sorry, no offence was taken :D
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Well, sometimes have dreams and I am just standing and reciting poetry, and it flows from my subconscious, and it is not anyone else's poetry that I ever remember reciting, but original poetry, always. And when I wake up I scramble to write as much of it down as possible. I know it's strange, but you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, you know? haha
The majority of my poems start when a random line runs through my brain, and I will either try to brush it off, because I'm busy or something, in which case I do not write it down but even if I do not I will remember it for years sometimes. Or, I will write it down because almost instantly the poem is forming in my head so fast.
A good example of a poem starter line is "Delilah, may I cut your hair" from Delilah. I was really sick, needed to rest, thought of that line, it was persistently running through my head, over and over, for nearly two days and I had to write that poem, so I did. lol
Usually when I write I find a rhythm more than a beat and when I am reciting it in my head it sounds like a song, not always, and I don't play instruments so they are never and were never meant to be anything but poems, but that's how they wind up the way they do. i wasn't taught, so I'm really self conscious because i know I write in a weird way, it's like a chimera method. Anyway, that's how I write. :)
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