Night Falls

Again, I find it incredibly hard to fault you in your poetic style. You are indeed one of the foremost poets on this site, and worthy of a DailyDeviation on one, if not more, of your many works.

The delicate emotions you have to deal with in this poem, emotions which are taboo to the conservative, make it a very difficult poem to write well, I believe, without being overly critical of the girl, or indeed overly impartial, and thus heartless, of her unfortunate situation. The line which caught my attention right now, in my haphazard reading style, was "The stars hiding in her eyes / fall one by one, / as she cries". Okay, so that's three lines. But I can never underestimate the skill you employ to write such fine poetry, especially after reading this. "The stars hiding in her eyes". A line which works on several levels. Firstly, It makes me, as the reader, dream about helping extract those shy balls of fire from their coves in the endless ocean that is a woman's eyes. Secondly, it makes me, and indeed any reader, want to love her all the more, to forget her spread legs and concentrate on her quivering heart, a clockwork mechanism that can only be fixed by a caring individual who is willing to hold her tight and show her a world of emotional comfort; a person who will dry her tears gently. You have succeeded here, once more, in making your audience feel.

"She beckons chaos in." An incredibly powerful line, that works so well detached grammatically and physically attached to the first stanza, because it becomes both a concept in all solidarity, as well as a sentiment that is the result of cause and effect. "She begs / for lovers", but we realise it is not the plural she needs, but the singular, and it is the self-destructive need for the plural that inevitably brings her chaos. This acts as an extremely complicated sentiment, but one which accentuates the hopelessness you clearly bring forth in the poem. All this helps build up the emotional position of the reader prior to the final stanza.

The last stanza is possibly the most beautiful of the entire poem. After reading this, it echoed several times in my head, and as I re-read it, the heart-rendering image of the poetic object came to my mind's eye. The imagery you employ here, primarily the idea of the falling night, which I interpret as being metaphoric for her final, fatalistic fall from hope, a hope which no one helped restore in her. I cannot help but blame both myself and the whole human population for neglecting such a beautiful flower, truly it is unforgivable. The way "She softly cries" pulls at my heart strings, I must confess, as it paints her in such a beautifully pitiful light. The hardest part of this stanza for me to personally handle is the ending quote. At first I wasn't sure what to make of it, "was it worth the moon?" is a question I found myself to be asking, well, myself. I must confess that I have not as yet reached a general consensus with myself regarding that quote, is she saying that she has sacrificed all her romantic ideals for quick lust rather than real love? Or, is she commenting on her disillusionment with the greater romantic ideals? Whatever it is, it is the sense of mystery which works so well. It is unrealistic to hope that I might understand her fully, because she is a separate entity to me, with a separate consciousness. But whatever she meant, it is the mystery of the unknown that, as I said, merely accentuates the effect this poem had on me.

Kudos, dear Shanna, on another fantastic, resounding piece <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="" title="Heart"/>